USPTO Rejects Meghan Markle's American Riviera Orchard Trademark: It's Over!

Meghan Markle's foray into the lifestyle brand world with American Riviera Orchard is facing a significant setback that can only be described as a series of blunders. Her dream of building a lifestyle empire appears to be unraveling faster than you can say "non-final office action." 

Meghan's U.S. trademark application for American Riviera Orchard was recently rejected by the United States Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO), marking a classic case of not reading the fine print. She now has just three months to address the issues or risk having the application abandoned altogether.

This fiasco might be the most dramatic twist in Megan's brand saga yet. According to the USPTO's 48-page document outlining why the application failed, Megan was initially short on the application fee, which meant she needed to pay an additional $700 to keep the process moving. Apparently, Megan's attention to detail didn’t extend to the realm of paperwork—perhaps she was too busy living her best life to focus on bureaucratic details.

The rejection came with a lengthy list of reasons. Megan was instructed to amend the identification of goods, adjust the multiple-class application requirement, and disclaim "Riviera" in the brand's name due to its geographical descriptiveness. In simpler terms, her branding effort faltered because the descriptions were too vague, and the geographical reference wasn’t cutting it.

Among the failed trademark attempts were everyday items like cocktail napkins, pans, and various kitchen utensils, including strainers, spoons, forks, spatulas, tongs, spreaders, whisks, and even soap dispensers. 

Clearly, Megan's vision for American Riviera Orchard encompassed a wide range of products, but the execution seemed more like "jack of all trades, master of none."

A source cited by the Express emphasized that the process for acquiring a trademark is extremely rigorous, suggesting it’s no surprise Megan encountered issues. 

However, the source also expressed confidence in Megan’s dedication, asserting that a brand collapse isn’t imminent. Still, the optimism might be misplaced given Megan’s hasty launch and subsequent bungling.

The American Riviera Orchard trademark application, first submitted on February 2, outlined grand plans for selling kitchenware, drinkware, and jams. Five months later, with a less-than-impressive Instagram launch, the brand has yet to see a single product on the shelves. 

The application was filed under the company M Know His Best LLC, registered at the same Beverly Hills address as Harry and Megan's Archewell organization.

Let’s take a moment to appreciate the sheer lack of attention to detail that seems to have plagued Megan in her rush to launch the brand. Perhaps inspired by Princess Catherine’s negative photo feedback or her desire to overshadow Prince William and Harry, Megan appears to have delivered a half-baked idea. 

Her PR-driven approach might be her undoing; it seems she believed that the sheer magnificence of her persona could guarantee success without the painstaking process of proper planning and execution. 

If American Riviera Orchard doesn’t turn a profit, it could lead to yet another round of negative stories aimed at the UK press, hoping for a royal bailout from Charles. The reality is that Megan and Harry are multimillionaires with trust funds—any financial misadventures are theirs to manage, and taxpayers won’t be footing the bill for these missteps.