In the glittering world of royalty, where tradition and public scrutiny collide, the relationship between Meghan Markle and Prince Harry has been a subject of fascination and controversy since it first came to light. While their love story was initially sold as a modern fairy tale—a dashing prince and a glamorous American actress defying the odds—whispers of a darker dynamic have persisted. Allegations that Meghan has exerted an outsized influence over Harry, steering his decisions and distancing him from his royal roots, have swirled since early 2018, just months before their May wedding. This article delves into the claims that Meghan’s controlling tendencies were evident as early as March 2018, exploring the triggers behind her alleged dominance and the impact on Harry’s life, drawing on insider accounts, public incidents, and critical analysis.
### The Seeds of Control: March 2018 and the Pre-Wedding Tensions
March 2018 was a pivotal moment for Meghan and Harry. With their wedding at St. George’s Chapel, Windsor Castle, just two months away, the couple was under intense public and media scrutiny. Meghan, a former actress known for her role in *Suits*, was transitioning from Hollywood to the rigid protocols of the British monarchy. This period, marked by high-profile engagements and wedding preparations, is where critics point to the first signs of Meghan’s alleged control over Harry.
According to royal biographer Tina Brown in her 2022 book *Palace Papers: Inside the House of Windsor—The Truth and the Turmoil*, tensions were already brewing between Meghan and the royal establishment. One notable incident involved a clash with Queen Elizabeth II’s personal assistant and senior dresser, Angela Kelly, over access to a tiara for Meghan’s wedding preparations. Meghan reportedly demanded to try on the tiara for styling sessions with her hairdresser, who had flown in from New York. When Kelly, adhering to strict protocol due to the tiara’s £2 million value, denied the request, Harry reportedly “fired off like a missile” to make it happen. The Queen intervened, firmly telling Harry that “Meghan cannot have whatever she wants. She gets what tiara she’s given by me.” This episode, insiders claim, revealed Meghan’s desire to control every detail of her new royal life, with Harry acting as her enforcer.[](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/royals/article-14979837/Queen-Meghan-Markle-wedding.html)
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### Triggers of Control: Ambition, Insecurity, and a Clash of Cultures
What drove Meghan to assert such control? Several factors, rooted in her background and the unique pressures of royal life, may provide answers. First, Meghan’s ambition is well-documented. As an actress who climbed from minor roles to a starring part in a hit TV series, she was accustomed to managing her career with precision. Her entry into the royal family, however, brought a new set of challenges: a hierarchical institution with centuries-old traditions, where she was expected to defer to senior royals. According to royal biographer Sally Bedell Smith, Meghan’s refusal to make decisions without Harry present during wedding planning raised eyebrows, with Queen Elizabeth reportedly expressing discontent. Lady Elizabeth Anson, a confidant of the Queen, noted that Meghan’s “bossy” demeanor and insistence on inviting people who “barely knew” the royal family caused private concern.[](https://www.brides.com/prince-philip-shocking-statement-meghan-harry-wedding-11793424)[](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/royals/article-14979837/Queen-Meghan-Markle-wedding.html)
This ambition clashed with the royal family’s tightly controlled narrative, which prioritizes duty over individual stardom. Tom Quinn, in his book *Yes Ma’am*, claims Meghan sought to “outshine” other royals, including the Queen, by carving out an independent career within the monarchy—a move that was “never going to be acceptable.” Her frustration with the royal pecking order may have pushed her to exert influence over Harry, who, as the “spare” to Prince William’s “heir,” was already navigating a complex role within the family.[](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/royals/article-14999231/meghan-markle-tendency-control-relationship-prince-harry.html)
Insecurity may have been another trigger. Meghan faced relentless media scrutiny, much of it tinged with racism and xenophobia, as noted in a November 2016 statement from Kensington Palace condemning the “wave of abuse and harassment” directed at her. This hostile environment likely amplified her need to control her and Harry’s public image, from curating her Wikipedia page to orchestrating their relationship’s reveal. Dr. Channa Bromley, a relationship expert cited in a *Women.com* article, suggests that Meghan’s reliance on external figures like filmmaker Tyler Perry for support during their 2020 royal exit could indicate a tendency to seek control through trusted allies outside the marriage, potentially straining her dynamic with Harry.[](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wedding_of_Prince_Harry_and_Meghan_Markle)[](https://www.women.com/1695431/weird-things-meghan-markle-prince-harry-relationship-cant-ignore/)
The cultural divide between Meghan’s American independence and the monarchy’s collectivist ethos also played a role. Unlike Kate Middleton, who adapted gradually to royal life, Meghan’s Hollywood background emphasized self-promotion and agency. Her insistence on taking the lead in public engagements, even at Harry’s passion projects like the 2023 Invictus Games, has been cited as evidence of her dominant role. Dr. Bromley notes that Meghan often acts as Harry’s “protector and spokesperson,” sometimes overshadowing him in situations where equal partnership might be expected.[](https://www.women.com/1695431/weird-things-meghan-markle-prince-harry-relationship-cant-ignore/)
### The Wedding as a Flashpoint: Public Perception and Private Struggles
The May 19, 2018, wedding was a global spectacle, watched by an estimated 1.9 billion people. Yet, behind the fairy-tale imagery, signs of Meghan’s influence were already apparent. Her choice of a stark white Givenchy gown, designed by Clare Waight Keller, sparked debate, with Queen Elizabeth reportedly deeming it “too white” for a divorcee remarrying in church. This sartorial choice, defended by Prince William’s cousin Maddison May Brudenell as a personal expression, nonetheless fueled perceptions of Meghan flouting tradition to assert her identity.[](https://people.com/royals/prince-harry-meghan-markle-wedding-details/)[](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/royals/article-14929935/Why-Queen-WRONG-Meghans-wedding-choice-revealed-Prince-Williams-cousin-RICHARD-EDEN.html)
The wedding also highlighted Harry’s deference to Meghan’s vision. The inclusion of African-American cultural elements, such as Bishop Michael Curry’s address and a gospel choir, was a bold departure from royal norms, reflecting Meghan’s influence. While celebrated by some as a modernizing force, others within the royal circle saw it as Meghan prioritizing her narrative over the monarchy’s. The private exchange of vows three days before the public ceremony, revealed by Meghan in her 2021 Oprah interview, further underscored her desire for control over their union’s narrative, though the Archbishop of Canterbury later clarified it was not legally binding.[](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wedding_of_Prince_Harry_and_Meghan_Markle)[](https://www.the-independent.com/life-style/royal-family/meghan-markle-wedding-prince-harry-legal-b1820413.html)[](https://people.com/royals/prince-harry-meghan-markle-romance-timeline/)
Post-wedding, Meghan’s influence became more pronounced. The couple’s decision to step back as senior royals in January 2020, dubbed “Megxit,” was widely attributed to Meghan’s dissatisfaction with royal constraints. Their subsequent media ventures—Oprah’s interview, the Netflix docuseries *Harry & Meghan*, and Harry’s memoir *Spare*—have been criticized as “whiny and backstabby,” with Meghan often taking the lead in public statements. These moves suggest a pattern of Meghan steering the couple’s narrative, with Harry following her lead, even at the cost of his familial ties.[](https://www.women.com/1695431/weird-things-meghan-markle-prince-harry-relationship-cant-ignore/)
### The Other Side: A Partnership, Not Control?
Defenders of Meghan argue that her actions reflect partnership, not control. Harry has described their connection as love at first sight, with Meghan’s strength and charisma enabling him to navigate the pressures of royal life. “I fell in love with Meghan so incredibly quickly—it was a confirmation to me that all the stars were aligned,” he said in a *People* interview. Their joint ventures, from the Archewell Foundation to media projects, showcase a collaborative dynamic, with Meghan’s media savvy complementing Harry’s royal pedigree. Her leadership in public settings, such as at the Invictus Games, could be seen as supporting Harry’s initiatives rather than overshadowing them.[](https://www.women.com/1695431/weird-things-meghan-markle-prince-harry-relationship-cant-ignore/)
Moreover, Meghan’s supporters contend that her “control” is a mischaracterization rooted in sexism and racism. As a mixed-race American woman, she faced unique challenges within a predominantly white, British institution. The palace’s failure to protect her from tabloid attacks, as Harry highlighted in his 2016 statement, may have necessitated her proactive approach to their public image. Her curating of her Wikipedia page or insistence on wedding details could be viewed as strategic responses to a hostile environment, not manipulative control.[](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wedding_of_Prince_Harry_and_Meghan_Markle)
### The Cost of Control: A Fractured Royal Family
Regardless of intent, the consequences of Meghan’s alleged influence are undeniable. The couple’s exit from royal duties strained Harry’s relationships with Prince William, King Charles, and the late Queen Elizabeth, who reportedly felt “very worried” about Meghan’s impact. Prince Philip’s blunt remark after the wedding—“Thank f*** that’s over”—captured the royal family’s exhaustion with the drama surrounding the couple. Harry’s memoir *Spare* and their Netflix series further alienated him from his family, with critics arguing that Meghan’s media expertise drove these projects.[](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/royals/article-14979837/Queen-Meghan-Markle-wedding.html)[](https://www.brides.com/prince-philip-shocking-statement-meghan-harry-wedding-11793424)[](https://www.marieclaire.com/celebrity/royals/royal-butler-reveals-prince-philip-swearing-harry-meghan-markle-wedding-2018/)
The public, too, has grown divided. While some admire Meghan’s defiance of royal norms, others see her as orchestrating Harry’s departure from his heritage. Social media platforms like Reddit have buzzed with debates, with users on r/PublicRelations criticizing the couple’s “media saturation” as excessive. The perception of Meghan as “Duchess Difficult,” fueled by allegations of bullying staff (which she denies), has only deepened the narrative of control.[](https://www.women.com/1695431/weird-things-meghan-markle-prince-harry-relationship-cant-ignore/)[](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/royals/article-14929935/Why-Queen-WRONG-Meghans-wedding-choice-revealed-Prince-Williams-cousin-RICHARD-EDEN.html)
### Conclusion: A Modern Fairy Tale or a Power Play?
As Meghan and Harry build their post-royal life in Montecito, California, the question remains: is Meghan’s influence over Harry a natural extension of their partnership, or a calculated effort to dominate their narrative? The evidence from March 2018 onward—clashes over tiaras, curated public images, and a wedding that broke tradition—suggests a woman determined to shape her destiny in an unforgiving institution. Yet, this determination has come at a cost: fractured family ties, public backlash, and persistent scrutiny.
Whether Meghan’s actions stem from ambition, insecurity, or a clash of cultures, the triggers of her alleged control were evident long before the world watched her walk down the aisle. As the Sussexes forge ahead with their media empire and charitable endeavors, one thing is clear: their story is no fairy tale, but a complex saga of love, power, and defiance in the face of tradition.[](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wedding_of_Prince_Harry_and_Meghan_Markle)[](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/royals/article-14999231/meghan-markle-tendency-control-relationship-prince-harry.html)[](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/royals/article-14979837/Queen-Meghan-Markle-wedding.html)
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